Showing posts with label more chemo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label more chemo. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

today...

i re-started avastin injections this week after a two week delay due to a severe bout w/cellulitis that left me hopitalized for five days and that i continue to fight on the home front with daily oral antibiotics and treatment at a wound care facility.

my first treatment was yesterday and as usual it has left me fatiged and sore...

i also have a PT nurse that visits me here at home to ensure i do some mild excersizes to keep my limbs and blood moving. she often leaves me sore, tired and sweaty.

doctors orders to keep my bum leg elevated give me reason to be a bum, although i do not always adhere to these instructions... email, blog and innernet in general becon me relentlessly.
as does the fridge and kitchen. my youngest daughter loves the foccacia that i make and with my merry christmas to me food processor it is a snap... before it was all by hand and this made it prohibitively difficult. now, i have a very good recipe and brush the top with an olive oil, butter and italian seasoning mixture and it is gone before i know it...
it also works really well for pizza, stromboli etc...
Focaccia alla Ligure - Ligurian Focaccia

several new and old friends check in on me and i find that comforting. it is more that i expected and from sources i did not expect. other sources friends etc that swore to assist in anyway now refuse to answer calls, return VM etc. it shouldn't surpise me... their character has long been apparant, i had just hoped that my cynisism was unjust, that i was incorrect about these people, alas time has told its tale. bummer.

i feel like i have beat the odds in some ways.. i am still alive, often alert and still able to walk or at least motor around in my electric scooter. my daughters seem to have faced this dilemma fairly well. they sometimes show wear from uncommon demands on their time, but overall they are doing well emotionally and academically.

thats all i can think of for now
PT therapist is due here soon.. gotta rest

later all ~!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

tumor treatment saga continues...

Chemo, day two

Wrote blog yesterday, forgot to post it until today… what a bum huh?
Writing again today, hopefully it will get finished and posted today as well…

Wanna try taking chemo a little earlier in the day today… it’s a process.. takes hours to do right and pain episodes are becoming more frequent and difficult to manage so I am irritable.

They aren’t kiddin’ when they say Temodar causes constipation…Something I’m sure everyone is glad I am sharing… geez.. Day two already. Damn.

An hour and a half after the dose my tummy is shaky. Ick… But I am still hungry as hell.. dangit.

There is no one to talk to about prognosis, more specifically my prognosis (expectations).
No one that doesn’t freak when the topic of end-of –life or right-to-die topics come up.

I simply wont live like this.. I refuse. I refuse to accept the lower and lower quality of life simply because it’s gradual in its declination. Like the damn frog in a pot of water. Everyday becomes “o.k.” because “it’s not as bad as it could be”, or because it’s “only a little worse than yesterday”.