Bleh..

For the moment, I am feeling better.
Hopefully a reprieve from the last several days that have been plagued with fatigue and misery.
I have slept virtually non-stop since early in the week and have found moving or eating...anything...both difficult and painful.

I missed the aerial fireworks show last night and am really bummed about that.

My kids are home from Summer break tho, and that's cool.. I am glad to have them back here, although I wish they left their sibling bickering on the damn train that brought them. ;)

It is Saturday. the sun is up..I can move...I can see...(only one image to choose from).
Today is starting off good. Today will be comparatively productive if it stays this way.

Sweet~!

After an entire day of being pissed off at the world...
My stellar daughters came home from summer from their moms.. with my b'day /fathers day gift of this !!
Totally took away my pissies (despite the excruciating pain developing in my head and back...)

8.0 Megapixels for stunning prints as large as 16 x 20 inches.
3x Optical Zoom-NIKKOR Glass Lens gets you close to the action.

Anti-Shake Mode minimizes the effect of camera shake.
Huge, Bright High Resolution 3.0-inch LCD makes it easy to view and share pictures.

Adjusts up to ISO 1600 to keep shooting even in lower light.
Nikon In-Camera Innovations:In-Camera Red-Eye Fix(TM)--automatically fixes most instances of red-eye in the camera.

You may never see red-eye again!Face-Priority AF--Nikon's face-finding technology that automatically focuses on faces.D-Lighting--rescues dark or backlit images by improving brightness and detail where needed.
Color Navy Blue

The pic is RED but my camera is BLUE..

My very first digital camera~!!! WOOHOO!

Now all I have to do is learn how to make it do everything it can do...

stills, movies with sound, a freekin 3 inch screen...awesome...

In other news, my wonderful optical logitech trackman wheel mouse that so adore and have so for years fell ill several days ago...we made use of a simple two button shitbird mechanical mouse for many days as i futzed with the trackman. I did get it up and running...I was so happy!

Today it died all together..and there aint no coming back this time. Thursday I will need to go buy another one. Does anyone else hear bagpipes?

just this...

a few posts are rumbling around in my head, not quite ready for the world...



I will say this....popsicles are good.

It's hot out, and I can't eat alot of ice cream, but popsicles are o.k.


So, I am eating popsicles. bunches sometimes.

They are sweet and cold and yummy. As of late, I don't get much else in the way of little treasures, so I am eating popsicles like crazy.
Red ones, Orange ones, Purple ones.


YAY for popsicles ~!~!~!

MRI stuff...

Here some stuff from my mri reports...
I am not sure what to get from the sum of them both...



First MRI 1 February 08

There is a 2.7 x 2.8 x 3.5-cm mass in the medulla with T2 hyperintensity and T1 hypointensity.

FINDINGS:
There is a 2.7 x 2.8 x 3.5-cm mass in the medulla with T2 hyperintensity and T1 hypointensity. With contrast administration, there is nodular enhancement involving the inferior portion of the mass.

Second MRI 2 May 08

The non-enhancing cystic component of the mass measures 1.6 cm in
anterior-posterior dimension, 1.7 cm in transverse dimension and 2.2 cm in cephalocaudal dimension.

CONCLUSION:
There appears to be a slight decrease in size of the overall brainstem mass in comparison to the report of the prior study and more significantly the enhancing component also has decreased in size as well, resulting in far less mass effect at the foramen magnum.

Sooo… the measurements look pretty good sounds like a good reduction in size…

But the doc says “slight decrease in size of the overall brainstem mass” followed by “resulting in far less mass effect at the foramen magnum”.

Trying to understand “far less mass effect” and “slight decrease in size” compared to the way the numbers all line up. (look at the numbers – do the math - )

So, now I have the new report.
I was all excited…but really I still need the doc to tell me what it all really means.
So I am still just waiting.
Frustrated.
Tired.
Still hurt alot sometimes.
Thankful for morphine.

More later after I talk to the doc…
Wish me luck~!

A good day...

OK...
Today, so far is a good day...
I overslept like crazy, but that isn't necessrily bad thing.
I am not in any active pain at the moment but I have only been awake about an hour.
I loaded up on drugs straight away...as I sometimes forget and then things can be not pretty.

After many very unpleasant days in a row, yesterday was pretty good.. little or no pain, and what I did have was managed well...and today is looking good, so say a little prayer for a continued pattern of blessed normalness.

I am gonna hit the shower and head out on a couple of errands that I have been procrastinating on for a bit.

Pain is...

Pain has been manageable...

Been sleeping way more than normal...
From the adjustments in meds maybe? dunno...
Still carrying the weight preumably gained from steriods.
Double-vision is back enough to make me not wanna drive.
Back and neck are stiff, hard to move.. my left arm gets hot and cold...
Makes me wonder what good radiation did for me...

Waiting to hear what docs have to say about new MRI...
Wondering if chemo is an option and if it will do me any good.
This is not how things are supposed to be.

This damn thing has been robbing me of stuff for awhile, noone ever knew what was up before...Subtle things, over time.. years even...
The symptoms are more pronounced now...not so sublte...Now I am really hurtin'...

OK.. damn left arm and leg are numb. hard to type...back hurts from sitting here...shit.

gonna go put my feet up. maybe come back later.


see you soon~!

Summer begins...

Sooo…the girls are off to Vegas for a few weeks…
Amtrak it is.. freekin’ airfare nearly doubled.. from $120 a pop round trip to just under $400 for the two of them…freekin price of gas…

It’s always weird when they aren’t here…to quiet…
We always need the break from each other buy the time summer gets here…

I think about being alone in the house right now.. I am ok.. but what if something happens? “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” commercial floats thru my mind…

I’ve scheduled the next MRI to check on the progress of the tumor in my head, but otherwise symptoms continue to make life very close to miserable.
I surely hope that this isn’t it… if this is the quality of life I am to expect consistently then we will have to make some adjustments for sure.