Morning ~ !

3:30 am what a lousy time to be so awake it screws up my schedule so bad…


Anyway, I just wanted to blog something real quick…

I wanted to describe how incredible I feel at the moment
For most people physical pleasure is equated to how one feels after a good meal, a good drink or maybe a cigar. Perhaps having sex or drugs…

It could be that for me as well…but today, right now.. it is the complete absence of pain, control of my body, and simply clear vision.

I woke for whatever reason (my daughters’ damned nagging cough probably, she’s sleeping on the other couch next to me) and noticed how well I feel…

None of the pain that had cursed me for the last several days is present..
The edema in my legs that has kept them burning hot and weepy for days is nearly absent altogether.
It doesn’t hurt to breathe or move or anything.
I can see clearly…I grabbed the awesome little dollar-store bamboo back-scratcher and chased a few elusive itchy spots on my back…(BTW, those little cheapo bamboo scratchers are the best damn dollars I ever spent)

Anyway, I’ll probably feel good like this for an hour, maybe two.. then I’ll be back to the days normal battle with pain and mobility..
The good news is I am getting better at balancing the meds…so long as I keep up on the morphine I am pretty good…Yes I know that probably makes me sound like a junkie or something.
That’s OK I suppose… The med lets me function reasonably in public, and people are allowed the think whatever they like.

Now, if I could just get Mariah over this damned awful cough.

Leftovers…

Tonight, dinner consisted of leftovers…
Soup left over from last night’s dinner…plus a loaf of buttery garlic french bread
My oldest daughter sought out and selected a soup recipe from food networks website.



It is our favorite resource for recipes or information.

She chose a chicken soup recipe and we were off to the store to get what we didn’t have on the shelf.
(I had to go as the recipe called for white wine)

The soup was awesome last night, and after slumbering the night away in our fridge, the flavors had plenty of time to meld into an even more impressive bowl of goodness…

I love that she isn’t afraid of the kitchen. She sought out what she wanted for dinner, we discussed what components we had, what we could do for substitutions. How each substitution would affect the final product. She knows now nearly as much as I do in the kitchen…she’s gonna be fine.

Afterwards they each resigned themselves to a brief afternoon nap and awoke ready for the planned Smores event. They had purchased a “Smores” Maker” for me years ago, and it had gone unused for too long. (it consists of a wooden base with pockets for graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate pieces on a turntable so each person can take a turn roasting their marshmallow for their smore)

It requires the use of sterno, and I regrettably resisted using it for one reason or another…

Well, tonight I released whatever silly reservations I had… grabbed a couple cans of sterno and told the girls we were doin’ Smores after dinner…We made gooey, fiery yummy Smores at the dinner table…they were great. I ate a few marshmallows just roasted… the smell and taste of burned marshmallow took me back to fireside roasting in the sitting in the dirt. After searching out a serviceable downed branch we would whittle down the tip and any side branches the selected tool was stashed near the campsite but hidden well enuf to keep brothers or cousins from acquiring the valued implement.
The memory is at least as good as the pleasure of simply eating the product…

The night is ending on a fairly decent note for me…I am able to walk and move without to much difficulty. The last few days have been difficult. The simple act of bringing a spoon full of soup to my mouth was arduous, slow and painful. I am at the end of the process of reducing one of my meds…
I am unsure if the new level has anything to do with how I have been feeling. I will continue at the new doses for a time in hopes that (we) find doses that are therapeutic enough to treat my condition and allow a level of conscious and functionality that I might be presentable in public.

Heart tests next week...stoopid enzyme counts are to high or something...

Wish me luck.

I’ve been at the keyboard too long.. blog more later.. my back hurts from sitting here… I need a better chair.

Later!