nearing...

Continuing difficult days here cause me concern.

My hands are numb in ways that that have not been in the past..

My head hurts. Adjustments in meds isn't helping. Isn't affecting.

The continued albeit gradual progression of symptoms despite new treatment makes me think there is new growth yet to be proven by MRI. The next one isn't scheduled until January sometime but at this rate of degradation, I will see the inside of a hospital somewhere before that.

Custody battles continue to loom on the horizon.. What a huge hassle.
There are better ways for all of us to deal with the stresses an difficulties we face in this. Only time will tell if we get our shit together in time. Its a messy gig either way.

I dont know how to make this better for my kids. I struggle to balance their care and mine.

This is certainly bigger than me...So often I have overcome barriers, challenges. Rather thot I was pretty rugged. Not this time. I'm beat. OK?


I get it. I am humbled. Can it all stop now?