Wednesday, November 11, 2009

tumor treatment saga continues...

Chemo, day two

Wrote blog yesterday, forgot to post it until today… what a bum huh?
Writing again today, hopefully it will get finished and posted today as well…

Wanna try taking chemo a little earlier in the day today… it’s a process.. takes hours to do right and pain episodes are becoming more frequent and difficult to manage so I am irritable.

They aren’t kiddin’ when they say Temodar causes constipation…Something I’m sure everyone is glad I am sharing… geez.. Day two already. Damn.

An hour and a half after the dose my tummy is shaky. Ick… But I am still hungry as hell.. dangit.

There is no one to talk to about prognosis, more specifically my prognosis (expectations).
No one that doesn’t freak when the topic of end-of –life or right-to-die topics come up.

I simply wont live like this.. I refuse. I refuse to accept the lower and lower quality of life simply because it’s gradual in its declination. Like the damn frog in a pot of water. Everyday becomes “o.k.” because “it’s not as bad as it could be”, or because it’s “only a little worse than yesterday”.

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