i think i am really sik...

having grown up with my dad being a cop, i caught hell nearly every day at school for shit he did on the street... he was always arresting someone's mother or brother or some damn thing.
i had to go the extra mile to prove to them that i was just like everyone else.
what a drag.

but, i also did things that no other kids did.

being a cop in a relatively small town, i guess there wasnt a lot of choices of friends he could really hang with, consequently, we did lotsa stuff with other cops.

i clearly remember fishing trips in what i think was a narcotics van, with very interesting people.
some of these "interesting" people were on the Bomb Squad.

i learned some very funny, albeit very twisted pranks from these guys.
maybe that explains the following.

i've been receiving a sales calls and political calls on my home phone.
many are recordings with no option to "opt out".
all my phones are on the "Do Not Call" list so these sluts shouldn't be bothering me anyway.

todays call was pushing credit repair for credit cards and i was bothered that these pukes were wasting my time and tying up the line designed for my Life Alert System.

so i waited for the loong sales speech and everything and the thing asked me to leave my name and phone number and debt value yadda yadda...

immediately after the beep, i mustered my feeblest of feeble voices, complete with panting breath, gurgling sobs and panicked, hushed tones...
"Please p-p-p-please...(pant - - pant) help me.. they- - they -- they won't let us leave.. we can't get out.. (pant - pant... weak cough... sniffle... ) please hurry they're coming back.. pleease..."

then i dropped my handset on the desk and chased it around a little and then hung up.