hey fooker...

"hey fooker"

a common greeting i consider affectionate from probly the best brother ever...

it generally begins a conversation in chat as we live fars away and dont often get to talk...
chat lets us talk to each other and allows for the delays as he is usually working and i sometimes just need time to get myself together...

most of our communication is electronic of one sort or another...

i have also found a few new friends here on the innernet and i find comfort and solace in that... in the exchange of ideas and experiences with those people...
some peeple will contest that the electronic age has seperated and disconnected us as a people socially. maybe they have a point, but then again, maybe they are just stoopid.

i dont like myspace much, and the presence of my music playlist here comes dangerously close to resembling such a place. fukkit. i lost a ton of music in recent years to moving and pilfering ex gf's. some of it have found here, in addition to some new stuff by familiar artists.

most of what i initially put on my list has a deeper meaning, as i have sed before, those close to me will know.

some newer stuff has meaning closer to my life now. some is just fun.
independant of my medical condition, life is too short to worry about offending oversensitive people with (whatever).
so here are some fun ones placed close to the top of the list for a couple readers on my mind today. if they bug you, turn your speakers off. but maybe, just maybe, you could let loose, leave the tight chonies at home and let go. play it loud. play it often.
you wont go to hell i promise.

hear what melissa has to say. "shes going to hell, shes a lesbian!" you say. well, i aint sleeepin with her, im listening to her music and so should you. there is something to be learned by everyone there. yes i sed "everyone"
it wasnt long ago when words like nigger and fag were common place. spoken freely in public and in pews. the lesson is, at least in part, not tolerance, but acceptance.

tolerance..tolerate.. what a shitty word anyway. we'll tolerate you, your lifestyle. whata slap huh? how about acceptance? tolerate. tolerate means judgement. acceptance does not.
you aint gotta like it. you aint gotta preach it. but you have no right to tell me i cant.
hitler did that or have you forgotten?
yes this couhtry was built on judeau christians beliefs but it was also built on freedom.
freedom to live and breathe and believe as we desired.
if you aint hurtin anyone government, cops and neighbors should stay home.

you dont like my music? thats ok too. i dont ask you to not play yours.

(i once got in a nasty fight with my ol' man over Sammy Hagars "I can't Drive 55" music video.
it was awful.) nobody was promoting social disobediance. there was no inciting of riots. who the hell DOESNT like to drive fast? if you say you dont you are a liar and i will be happy to tell you so to your FACE. no speeding tickets you say? ok, then you are just creepy. pls stay away from my kids ty.

wow.

what a tirade over just a few fun songs huh?
hehe. like i sed, i feel damn good today so there.

i dont get days like this very often so i will rant or yell or cry or sing if i damn well want to.
i recommend you do to.
you never know when your tickets gettin punched.

I'm kinda lucky. i have a terminal medical condition.
some day soon, the tumor in my head will cease responding to treatment and i will die.
as it has already grown to a size that is dangerously close to stopping important shit like heart pumping and breathing, so i wont have much time. likely measured in weeks, but who knows.

no one knows. i have been given a warning and time to tell those important to me that they are important to me. if u get hit by a bus tomorrow, will you have said what you want to say to those you got stuff to say to?
i hope so.

my ramblings here help me express who i am and my beliefs.
it is a very therapeutic thing for me.
maybe my kids will read some of this later when they are older and understand.
i hope so.


dont be a freak spending, but dont be a freak saving either.
dont be afraid to go out for the weekend, you just might not have the time you think you have...
later doesnt turn out like ya planned.
remember what u thot things would be like after high school?
uh huh.

a friend once said to me..."heeeey im still putting it together "
i gotta try and remember that.
my dad put alot of pressure on brother and me,
to be the best we could be,
i get to caught up in that and try to hard to be perfect.
i push myself and my kids too.. to hard.
i gotta chill.

speaking of chillin'...
my kids have finished grillin some chicken on our BBQ
so i am gonna go do just that..chill.

i'll turn the music on my computer and just...chill.
btw, cleaning out a box of "stuff" recently i found a freekin 8-track of mine with STYX, "The Grand Illusion..."
how's THAT for a blast from the past? (my hair was much longer then, also something condemned by my dad and his crony cop friends.)

peace out boys n girls~!